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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112178">The Fight for Her Highness's Hand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Diamond/pseuds/Mystic_Diamond'>Mystic_Diamond</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>all rise for the queen (the demetria alexandria blaiddyd collection) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Crack, F/F, F/M, Humor, Love Triangles, Pining, Rule 63, almost every ship here is unrequited, no real endgame ship, rated t for sylvain's humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:01:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112178</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Diamond/pseuds/Mystic_Diamond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sylvain and Felix receive letters from their fathers about their prospective futures regarding Her Highness, Demetria Alexandria Blaiddyd. Somehow, this leads into a fight breaking out in the training yard. No one comes out the winner.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Annette Fantine Dominic, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Flayn, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Marianne von Edmund, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Mercedes von Martritz, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>all rise for the queen (the demetria alexandria blaiddyd collection) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923283</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Fight for Her Highness's Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Uhhhh, this is meant to be crack? Of course, that's up to you and how much you laughed during this. Writing humorous fics like this might not be my strong suit, it might've gotten a little too serious at times.</p><p>I actually do have meta in my head about how much both the telling and the perception of Dimitri's story and character arc would've changed had he been a female character, but I thought of this scenario like two days ago and I couldn't get it out of my head and now we're here.</p><p>Content warning for mentions of Sylvain's dad generally being shitty, Faerghus's rampant racism, and Dedue's backstory. I told you I might be bad at this whole "writing humor and crack" thing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So I suppose you got the same letter from your old man too?” Sylvain sighed, hands cupped behind his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Felix muttered under his breath. Said letter was crumpled in his fist, and upon the mention of his father, the letter was only further squeezed into a lumpy ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sylvain lifted his head towards where they were both looking: Her Highness, standing in the middle of the courtyard, practicing lance forms by herself. When Demetria was training, it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist to her. She was perfectly focused, eyes hazed over in a way that suggested Sylvain wouldn’t be able to get her attention unless he threw himself against the dulled tip of her practice lance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sylvain could only imagine that Felix would insist this was evidence Her Highness was ruled by only the rush of a fight, the bloodshed of her enemies, but he was somehow unaware that he got the same look in his eye when he held his sword, whether wooden or true steel. Sylvain deeply cherished Felix, but he sometimes questioned how the guy could be so critical of others but so deeply oblivious to how he himself came off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least Sylvain acted out </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was being an asshole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear to the goddess that my father is trying to vicariously live through me,” Felix snorted. “Did you know that the boar and I are the first female and male heir to be born around the same time in a thousand years? Our fathers said some drivel about us being the reincarnations of Lord Blaiddyd and Lady Fraldarius.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that imply Her Highness would top you?” Immediately, Sylvain was predictably smacked. He was just glad that he finished the joke. “Hey, be glad your father is nothing like mine. I’m pretty sure this was his devious plan from the beginning: introduce the crown princess to his Crest heir when they’re both kids, naturally have them become friends, then foist an engagement offer when we’re both at that right age. Saints, if it wasn’t for House Fraldarius, my House would’ve probably secured a betrothal years ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't talk so casually of such things, it's disturbing," Felix scoffed, but Sylvain could see the crease between his eyebrows that formed when he was mulling over new information. He looked disgusted, more than usual. It seemed as if for all the ways Felix loathed his father, the idea that Lord Rodrigue might've also been trying to set Felix's life down a certain path when he was but a child never occurred to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sylvain cracked his neck. "If we were back in the Kingdom, they'd probably expect us to start a duel for the future queen's hand."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I fight to get stronger, not for a woman's affection, </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>not the boar princess."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sylvain snorted. "Hey, if we </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>dueling for Her Highness's hand, I'd throw the fight. Merging House Blaiddyd with House Fraldarius is a natural outcome after all the years of swearing fealty and placing handkerchiefs on one another's swords. My old man will be pissed but hey, at least House Gautier gets to snag the empty space left behind by your family."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix's eyes flashed with anger. "And what makes you think </span>
  <em>
    <span>I  </span>
  </em>
  <span>wouldn't throw the fight? What makes you think I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>willingly </span>
  </em>
  <span>walk down the aisle holding the hand of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>beastess</span>
  </em>
  <span>. My father would have to chain me to the altar for that future to come to pass."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Felix, Felix, Felix," Sylvain shook his head. He gave his best friend a sympathetic look. "I know you probably never had a proper talk with Lord Rodrigue about the feelings that blossom between men and women. I understand: it's been years since you've seen Her Highness, and you noticed she's been . . . . . filling out. Strange, unfamiliar feelings wash over you, and you don't like it. You don't understand what you're feeling, so you mistake it for anger. Then you begin to act spiteful towards Her Highness for inspiring these unfamiliar feelings and insist it's her fault you're like this--which, by the way, is not cool, I know that sounds rich from me, but hey, I refuse to blame women for inspiring my attentions, I only congratulate them--and it's making you all confused and upset. But if you just admit you're horny, Felix, you’re one step closer to being honest with yourself and your life will become richer once you realize you want to fuck Her Highness."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was silent for a few moments before . . . . . . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>YOU THINK I'VE BEEN IN LUST WITH THE BOAR PRINCESS ALL THIS TIME?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were so lucky that when Demetria was going through the motions of training, all sounds outside of her own breathing ceased to exist. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be true of other students who happened to be in the training yard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What vulgar words to shout at the top of your lungs! And in front of Her Highness!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The princess shouldn't be spoken about like that!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aren't those two supposed to be her friends? Well, I guess we know what type of men they are."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, one of them is Gautier . . . . ."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Students tossed disdainful glares towards Sylvain and Felix before hastily exiting the training yard. Demetria, once again, hardly noticed the sounds of scuffling feet and the murmurs of rumors being born and taking flight that Sylvain was all too familiar with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hahahahahaha,” Sylvain forced out a laugh, slapping a hand onto Felix’s shoulder. “You say the darndest things, don’t you, Felix? Nothing to see here, folks! Just go about your day, hahahahaha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite Sylvain’s best efforts, his classmates continued to file out of the training yard, stopping only briefly to glare at Sylvain and Felix, until the two boys were left alone with Demetria, still oblivious to the atmosphere around her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re lucky Ingrid wasn’t here,” Sylvain hissed into Felix’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re lucky I can still stand to be around you,” Felix said, smacking Sylvain’s hand off of his shoulder like it was a fly. “I know the difference between anger and lust. How could I be oblivious to such depraved emotions when I’m friends with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I get it, you don’t like Her Highness for reasons entirely unrelated to her enormous knockers,” Sylvain ignored Felix’s spluttering to continue. “But you have to admit, if you’d received that letter when you were twelve, you’d be over the moon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because my dreams back then were silly,” Felix scoffed, but his derisive tone was threaded with something that sounded like nostalgia. “I’m no longer that little boy who’d throw a fit over not being able to spend a day with the boar princess. I’ve grown up since then. I know the real woman that belies that porcelain face of hers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see, the real problem here is that I know if you told your father you didn’t want to compete for Her Highness’s hand, he’d accept that with grace,” Sylvain shook his head. “Mine, on the other hand? He’d be willing to chain my ankle to hers if that means his Crest might be wielded by the next heir to the Kingdom. The worst part of it all is that Her Highness would probably blame herself for my predicament. I hate seeing her face get all sad. It’s like I kicked a puppy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d do anything to get out of a marriage between me and the boar but the idea of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>marrying her . . . . . . I somehow feel more bad for her than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying I’d cheat on my own wife?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would cheat on </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> for anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but like . . . . she’s my </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I knew her since she was five years old! I put bandages on her hands and knees whenever she scraped them! I listened to her cry when Cassandra left the Kingdom! Cheating on her feels like . . . . like . . . . like the equivalent of making your grandmother cry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just compare the boar to </span>
  <em>
    <span>your grandmother</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You get what I mean!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Frankly, I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just wrong, okay? I’ve made a lot of women cry, but it just feels wrong to break Her Highness’s heart like that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s a good thing that no one, and I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one</span>
  </em>
  <span>, would want you to be the queen’s husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s all this talk about Her Highness?” a soft but stern voice interrupted them. Sylvain and Felix snapped their gazes from each other to meet Dedue’s, who seemingly materialized out of nowhere. For all of Felix’s training and Sylvain’s expertise in keeping an ear out for footsteps, neither of them had heard Dedue approach them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dedue! Hey buddy,” Sylvain’s voice cracked slightly. “Uhhh, what parts of our conversation did you hear?” He wasn’t afraid of Dedue potentially hurting him (he’s not Hubert, for Saints’ sake) but Dedue’s disappointed gaze hurt like no other when the man was usually so gentle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard fragments of gossip surrounding Her Highness and apparently one of you said something vulgar about her,” Dedue said. He immediately looked towards Felix. “It was him, wasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tch,” Felix clicked his teeth. “The boar princess’s honor isn’t getting besmirched, if that’s what you’re concerned about. It wasn’t even my fault. This loudmouth here accused me of confusing my feelings towards the boar for . . . . . depravity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a mistake, okay?” Sylvain groaned. “I won’t make it again, even if your furious blushing was hilarious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dedue closed his eyes. He looked as if a headache was slowly dawning upon him. “If that’s all, then I’m going back to the greenhouse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Sylvain’s hand grabbed at the back of Dedue’s sleeve. “We need you to settle something between us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix is the more formidable opponent,” Dedue answered blandly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant!” Sylvain said, ignoring Felix’s brief smile of triumph. “I mean, if either one of us married Her Highness, which one would you tolerate more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of you is marrying Her Highness?” Dedue’s eyes grew wide and his jaw went slack. It was then that both Sylvain and Felix learned what horror looked like on Dedue’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you’re already disgusted, that was expected,” Sylvain nodded as if what they were discussing was some grave matter. “That’s fine, neither of us are thrilled about the idea either. But like, which one of us would be preferable? Which one would you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>murder before the night of the wedding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not going to answer, Sylvain,” Felix snorted. “Whoever the boar princess chooses, he’ll probably would never object, even if she chose a withering old man twice her age--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would prefer Sylvain,” Dedue said bluntly. He nodded to further punctuate his choice.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A strange noise came out of Felix’s mouth that could only be compared to a strangled cat. “You’re saying you would rather have your precious liege marry a womanizer and a known repeated infidel than </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what did you say about having to be chained to the altar if Her Highness decided to marry you?” Sylvain cackled. He threw his head back in laughter. “This is priceless! Saints bless you, Dedue, you truly are a treasure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t about me and the boar, it’s about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> somehow being a preferable husband than </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Felix tossed a glare at Dedue. “I may not like the boar but at least I wouldn’t cheat on her! I can understand a vow of fidelity and honor unlike this whore!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her Highness and I have discussed her future marital prospects a long time ago,” Dedue explained, his tone completely disaffected from Felix’s screeching. “Though I always thought that her future spouse would be someone from Adrestia or Leicester, not someone she already knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The two of you have already talked about her getting married?” Sylvain raised an eyebrow. His easygoing smile suddenly shifted into a more mischievous smirk. “Ohhhh, I get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slung an arm around Dedue’s shoulder, which took a bit of effort considering their respective heights. His voice dropped a low whisper. “The two of you were already banging before you came to Garreg Mach, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix, unfortunately, heard that. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dedue immediately pushed Sylvain off of him and then buried his fist into Sylvain’s shirt collar. “You have said many foolish things since we’ve met, Sylvain Jose Gautier, but what just came out of your mouth is the most vulgar thing I have ever heard. I suggest you never dare utter something both untrue and absolutely degrading ever again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it,” Sylvain choked out. Once his feet were both properly on the ground, he rubbed at the side of his neck. His voice was still somewhat scratchy when he said, “But why else would you talk about marriage to Her Highness?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sylvain, you need to learn that men and women can have relationships with one another without frivolous feelings being exchanged,” Felix snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve discussed her getting married in the future because it is one of her inescapable duties as the next Queen of Faerghus. Hopefully, I will be there to attend her wedding, though I suppose many lords wouldn’t be pleased to see me at the ceremony. She confides in me about her worries and I listen to her. You don’t have to worry about her becoming heartbroken if you were to take a mistress, Sylvain. She wholly expects such things, especially if it’s you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The boar princess needs to have a little self respect,” Felix scowled. “Even if marriage to her is only a duty, only women with zero regard for themselves would tolerate a disloyal husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you insist you would be better, Felix?” Dedue said, gaze sharp and tone merciless. “Perhaps only a rare handful of women would tolerate infidelity, but I believe no women deserve a husband who calls them an animal, acts haughty when they attempt to be civil, and then childishly try to demand their attention when they decide to ignore him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix choked on his own breath. “I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> saying I want to be her husband, I’m just saying I wouldn’t cheat on her!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rather low bar for you to step over,” Dedue said. Sylvain wished he could drop something on the ground to emphasize the great point Dedue made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix stomped his foot in that classic Felix Hugo Fraldarius way. “I don’t know why I have to defend myself in front of the two of you. This whole argument started because my old man and Sylvain’s are trying to offer us to the royal family like we’re stud horses for the boar to pick. Or at least in </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> old man’s case, he’s probably trying to fulfill a lifelong dream by merging our Houses together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But neither of you want to marry her, correct?” Dedue asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously,” Felix snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not ideal,” Sylvain shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Though I find either of you being Her Highness’s husband rather abhorrent, I do find it more preferable than if she married a stranger that neither her or nor I knew,” Dedue said, cupping his chin. “Of course, if I were to choose her future spouse, then I would pick Ashe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ashe?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” both Sylvain and Felix dropped their jaws.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did someone say my name?” the boy in question piped up. Ashe timidly approached the circle Felix, Sylvain, and Dedue made. Demetria still did not react to what was happening around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, do we have to involve Ashe in this conversation? He’s but an innocent angel compared to the rest of us,” Sylvain whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Dedue’s fault,” Felix shook his head. “Besides, Ashe is not a child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you guys talking about Her Highness?” Ashe asked, a bright shade of pink suffusing over his cheeks. Sylvain wanted to pinch his face. The boy had such a hopeless crush on the princess. There was one incident where Demetria praised Ashe’s skill with the bow after a mock battle and the younger boy nearly passed out from the acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was clear to all who knew Ashe that he was smitten with her. Sylvain may be cynical, but he didn’t have the heart to crush Ashe by telling him that the future queen wouldn’t benefit from marrying the adopted son of a minor lord, especially not someone with common blood.    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>probably be the perfect husband.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My father and Sylvain’s are fighting over whose son gets to marry the boar princess,” Felix said derisively. “Though I suppose every lord in the Kingdom is trying to throw their male heir into the ring for her hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Ashe’s eyes suddenly dimmed of their brightness. “Sylvain is eligible to become Her Highness’s husband?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Sylvain said before all the air was knocked out of his lungs. He was suddenly yanked down towards Ashe’s eye level, both of the boy’s fists buried in his collar. Suddenly, it became very clear that he could hardly breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I won’t let you dirty Her Highness’s honor!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ashe!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I know it’s very tempting to choke out Sylvain but don’t do it where a teacher could walk in on us!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H-H-Help me, I seriously can’t breathe!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down, Ashe,” Dedue said soothingly as he pulled the boy off of Sylvain, who was pulled away by Felix. “Nothing has been settled yet. Who Her Highness marries is not written in stone as of this moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashe let out a breath. There was still something simmering in his gaze but it was steadily cooling down. “Sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgive you,” Sylvain rasped out, rubbing his fingers against the places on his neck that are probably going to bruise. He surprisingly meant that, even though normally, he would be pissed at someone choking him out for something that wasn't his fault. But because it was Ashe, Sylvain felt the need to claim responsibility, even though he didn’t actually do anything that warranted being choked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn Ashe Ubert and his trademark angelic smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The idea of Her Highness marrying someone who would cheat on her just awakened something in me,” Ashe said. “In fact, the image in my head is making my palm twitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I get it, I inspire violence in you!” Sylvain said, holding his hands up in surrender. “Look, neither me nor Felix are dying to marry Her Highness, but knowing my father, he’ll probably never let up on the opportunity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My father would probably think the boar princess and I are destined to marry and unite our Houses,” Felix scowled petulantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you can see, Ashe, I am not thrilled about the possibility of Her Highness marrying either one of them,” Dedue sighed. “However, it is not my choice that is the end all, be all but hers, and Her Highness has resigned herself to the fact that her marriage must benefit the Kingdom first and foremost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How awful,” Ashe shook his head. “Before I met Lonato, all the married couples I knew married each other for love, but I suppose that’s a luxury only commoners can have, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t have to be all bad,” Sylvain shrugged. “I’m not usually an optimist, but just because you aren’t in love with your spouse doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them. In fact, maybe I should take one for the team and marry Her Highness so she doesn’t have to wed a stranger. My father will be happy, Felix can marry his sword like he always dreamed of, and Her Highness will let me fool around as much as I want with no hurt on her part . . . . .”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sylvain’s words trailed off as a brightness slowly dawned upon his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“. . . . . and if I marry her, then Gautier is much as hers as it is mine, and the war with Sreng might finally end if we have the royal family on our side. I’ll be Prince Consort instead of Margrave and that’s a much sexier title to be remembered by, I think. People will probably refer to me as the queen’s boytoy and frankly, I don’t think that’s too bad of a deal . . . . .”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sylvain, I don’t like that look in your eye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, why do you care, Felix? You don’t want to marry Her Highness anyway. If anything, I’m making a huge sacrifice for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you haven’t seen her true face!” Felix yelled, grabbing Sylvain’s lapels for what was the third time that day. “None of you have! You have never seen the boar princess covered in blood that was not hers, a feral smile on her face. If anyone has to make a sacrifice, it should be me! I am the only who has seen the worst of her and if anyone has the power to rein her in, it’s me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your method of ‘reining her in’ is dehumanizing her and constantly lambasting her with insults,” Dedue said darkly, suddenly advancing upon Felix’s personal space with unspoken threat. “I have no power to veto who Her Highness decides to marry, but if she ever chooses you, I would personally break my own vow to never decide things for the princess and </span>
  <em>
    <span>get rid of you myself</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a threat you’ll go through with?” Felix asked. His face was calm but the sweat that broke out on his forehead was clear for all to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Dedue said, matching Felix’s intensity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooooh, I’ve been waiting for this ever since these two met,” Sylvain said excitedly. “Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dedue, no! He’s not worth it!” Ashe cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Dedue said, closing his eyes in frustration. He opened them, revealing a hard gaze. “Her Highness is not an object to start a fight over. My mother taught me to never use a woman as an excuse to fight with another man, even if I believe it's in her honor. If Her Highness decides that you will be her future spouse, I will have to accept that, even if it repulses me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saints, you’re so selfless that it’s making me feel like garbage,” Felix grumbled. He rocked back on his heels awkwardly. “I’d be less frustrated with you if you just expressed a selfish desire, just once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do possess one selfish desire,” Dedue said, closing his eyes once again. A shameful expression creased his brow. “But it is something I can never have, not unless I would be content with the scorn and hatred that might incite the same fury that killed my mother and sister. Very few Kingdom citizens would accept their princess and future queen marrying her Duscuran vassal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence fell over the four boys, like a blanket dropping over someone's head. Dedue's face was still as calm as ever, though his posture seemed tenser than before, like he was expecting a blow. Sylvain's jaw was practically hanging off his face. Ashe's eyes shined with sympathy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix looked as if he had just received an early birthday present.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I knew it! I knew you were fucking in love with the boar princess!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to ‘men and women can have relationships with one another without frivolous feelings being exchanged,’ Felix?” Sylvain asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t fucking matter! I am vindicated! Oh, you must be so jealous that I can marry her and you can’t!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am so extremely jealous,” Dedue deadpanned. He sighed. “If you think I am going to express my unspoken feelings towards Her Highness through irrational rage and jealousy, you are sorely mistaken. I intend to take these feelings to the grave because I know Her Highness would feel guilt if these feelings were known. Even if she returned them, I cannot consummate a relationship with her unless we want the entire Kingdom’s scorn upon us. I will be her friend and vassal to the very end, until death separates us. As long as she is in my life, I am content.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but some part of you </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> be angry if she married someone who wanted her for her Crest and nothing else, right?” Felix admonished him. Sylvain had to wonder if Felix was trying to goad Dedue into a fight at this point. “You’re just as vulnerable to selfish and jealous feelings like the rest of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix, I know you want desperately to fight me over Her Highness because you also possess deeply repressed romantic feelings for her, but I must tell you that that will never happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You . .  . .” Felix’s voice trembled, shaking with quiet anger. A dark shadow was forming underneath his bangs, “. . . . . you take that back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is what I believe is true so I fear I cannot take it back. What I can do, though, is ask if I am right. Yes or no, Felix, yes or no?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Like I’ll ever answer that, you fucking asshole!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Felix yelled, immediately jumping upon Dedue, who now seemed to be content to fight back, if only in self defense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One could see a brief smirk on Dedue’s face, however.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we stop them?” Ashe cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should just let them fight it out,” Sylvain shrugged. “Felix is ruthless, but he wouldn’t seriously injure Dedue, no matter how pissed off he is. Besides, I feel like those two need to duke it out if we ever want them to get along. I have a letter to write to my father anyways. I need to tell him I’ll accept his offer to fight for Her Highness’s hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no, you don’t!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashe leapt onto Sylvain’s back and began to pull at any limb he could scrabble onto and hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her Highness is never marrying a philanderer like you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a way better option than Felix or any greedy old man who would only use her!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather she marry Felix than you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just jealous that you can’t marry her and I can!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe so, but a woman like her doesn’t deserve to be subjected to the punishment that is being your wife!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-O-Oh goddess, Ashe, I think you’re going to strangle me if you don’t let go of me right now, seriously I can’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> fucking breathe--</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The squabbling and the fighting probably would’ve continued on until the professor themself interfered or worse, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seteth</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but the fight was brought to a halt by the most unexpected event.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my!” a high-pitched, very familiar voice cried out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mercedes!” a deeper, almost masculine female voice yelled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All four of the boys looked up to see Mercedes lying on the ground, her gentle smile unperturbed, and Demetria frantically offering a hand to help her out. Her practice lance was tossed to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Demetria,” Mercedes giggled. “I didn’t see you. I’m so sorry, my thoughts drift away from me when I’m wandering around the monastery by myself. I’m just so hopelessly clumsy, aren’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault, Mercedes,” Demetria flushed. “I get lost when I’m training alone. I should’ve heard your footsteps when you walked into the training yard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I guess we’re both rather airheaded, huh?” Mercedes said sweetly. Once she was back on her feet, she brushed a stray strand of golden hair behind Demetria’s ear in a way that was unmistakably flirtatious. The princess flushed a bright crimson that none of the boys ever saw on her, not even Felix, who knew her when she was learning how to walk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H-Hahahaha,” Demetria laughed. She traced the path Mercedes’s fingers made over her earlobe with her own gloved hand. Her blush burned so bright that she must’ve been feverish with embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at Mercedes in a way that she never once looked at a man in the same manner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The revelation was shared amongst the four boys silently, without any of them having to give voice to the possibility that the princess’s heart was taken by another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mercedes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Which means absolutely none of them have a chance. The bar is too high to even attempt to climb over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a good thing I never fooled myself into thinking I had a chance or even the delusion that I would be able to confess,” Dedue said wisely. “The rest of you, however, can comfort each other.” He threw Felix off of him effortlessly and walked away with an air of maturity that all of them envied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve known,” Sylvain said, sadly shaking his head. “No wonder every come-on I’ve used on her flew right over her head. And now I feel more uncomfortable over the idea of marrying her. And maybe a little guilty for being slightly excited about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew my feelings would remain hopelessly unrequited,” Ashe said solemnly. “But goddess, does it still hurt. I'm going to throw all of the love letters I wrote into the fireplace now, both for closure and because I now realize that they're extremely bad and no one should ever read them, ever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ughhhhhhhhh," Felix groaned, because he was thrown onto the floor by Dedue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want some help there, buddy?" Sylvain asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can get up by himself. But he'll lie on the floor a little while longer and stare at the sky. Not because he's heartbroken. The sky is just nice to look at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's going to throw his father's letter in the fireplace later this evening, however. And throw all of these complicated feelings he's having right now into his sword training.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For that is how Felix Hugo Fraldarius dealt with emotions and he will keep using this method of burying his feelings until he dies.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Bonus Scene</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There you are, Your Highness!” Annette’s voice piped up. She hugged the princess from behind, the friendliness of the gesture startling to Demetria but not unwelcome. Annette wanted to be good friends with her so this must be what she did with friends. “Mercie, I can’t believe you were hiding the princess from me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Demetria was just walking me back to my room,” Mercedes said. “She’s such a gentleman, isn’t she, Annie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, she totally is,” Annette nodded gleefully. “I bet you get love letters from a lot of guys, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demetria flushed. “Oh, um . . . . . I do receive many love confessions from classmates but, uh, most of them were other girls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m not surprised,” Mercedes giggled airily. “You’re a very princely kind of girl.” She turned to look at her best friend. “Oh, Annie! What did you want with Demetria?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if she would let me play with her hair and face later,” Annette answered, already beginning to play with the strands of the princess’s hair. “I’m seriously so jealous of you and Ingrid, Your Highness. Both of you are so effortlessly gorgeous, without having to use as much product as me and Mercie. I swear you’re stunning even after a long day of training and sweat is still clinging onto your forehead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a hard time believing I’m even half as beautiful as you or Mercedes, but I’ll gladly join you for a makeover later,” Demetria said. “I don’t adorn my face very often, but it’s very soothing when you put makeup on me and do my hair, Annette. It reminds me of time spent with my stepmother when I was a child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m happy to be of service!” Annette said with a bright smile. She continued to twirl a chunk of Demetria’s golden hair between her fingers. “Ugh, your hair is so silky soft. I feel like I could take a nap against your shoulder and your hair would be like the most feathery pillow ever. That’s not weird to say, right? I sounded like I was flirting with you for a second there. I’m not! Not that you’re not worthy of being flirted with, it’s just that I’m not worthy of courting a princess. Oh shoot, am I making the atmosphere uncomfortable? Seriously, just tell me to shut up in order to keep everyone from feeling uncomfortable and I’ll shut up, I swear!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demetria opened her mouth to respond when Ingrid’s arrival was heralded by her footsteps tapping against the hallway floors, approaching them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Highness, Mercedes, Annette!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ingrid!” Demetria smiled. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was preoccupied with studying,” Ingrid replied. “Though while in the library, I overheard a couple of students gossiping about Sylvain and Felix, and once I heard their names, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to listen closer.” She rolled her eyes. “Something about the two of them saying something vulgar about you in the training yard?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was in the training yard for most of the afternoon and I don’t think either of them were there? I think I would’ve remembered it if I had heard them say something vulgar about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, all Felix says about you nowadays is vulgar in a sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ingrid, that’s rude! He has . . . . valid complaints about me. I take his words to heart as best as I can and make sure to keep my space from him . . . . though, he does occasionally seek </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love Felix, but he’s extremely contrary when it comes to what he wants, Your Highness. Sometimes I remember how much he wanted to hoard your attention as a child by crying your name and throwing a tantrum when we were kids and maybe this ‘boar’ thing is just another way for him to act out and keep your attention on him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I have no idea Felix used to be that kind of child,” Mercedes chimed in. “My little brother was a shy and quiet boy but if he ever threw a tantrum, it was usually because he thought I was spending more time with someone else that wasn’t him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, this probably sounds strange to anyone who wasn’t there, but Felix really did use to adore everything about Her Highness. We all used to think he wanted her hand in marriage in the future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodrigue has entertained the idea to me in the past, but if he were to suggest it again, I would decline,” Demetria said sadly. “It would probably only make Felix uncomfortable and although I don’t expect my husband to love me, it would be wise to choose one that can stand to be in the same room with me without complaint.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such low standards we’re forced to accept,” Ingrid scoffed. Her eyes were filled with sympathy as she looked at Demetria. “I wish you were allowed to marry whoever you wanted or that you weren’t obligated to marry at all. I suppose it’s rather blasphemous for me to wish for the latter, though. The idea of you being with anyone who would mistreat you makes me want to brandish my lance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so gallant to want to protect me, Ingrid,” Demetria smiled fondly. She smothered a laugh behind her hand. “Sometimes I wish the two of us could marry. All of our problems could be solved then: neither of us have to wed a stranger, Galatea could be saved, and we would be at each other’s side for the rest of our days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ingrid’s cheeks burned hot. “D-D-Don’t put those images in my head, Your Highness. It’s r-rather inappropriate.” She cleared her throat. “In any case, marrying one another wouldn’t solve the problem of needing heirs down the line. The two of us will unfortunately have to settle for the best </span>
  <em>
    <span>man</span>
  </em>
  <span> who comes around.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You deserve a husband who treats you right, Your Highness,” Annette chirped. “I wouldn’t bother with Felix, either. I swear that boy is evil.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay wow, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> wouldn’t say that,” Ingrid raised an eyebrow. “What did he do to you, Annette, for you think that of him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nothing! Absolutely nothing! Don’t mind me, I’m just a petty girl for no reason! Definitely nothing to do with steaks or cakes . . . . uhhhh, moving on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, uh,” Ingrid turned her head awkwardly towards the princess. “Your Highness, do you have spare time later to train with me? I’ve been waiting to try out this new lance technique that I’m sure would even knock you off of your feet!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re that confident, Ingrid? Well then, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>must</span>
  </em>
  <span> see it. We can do it after I’m done letting Annette put makeup on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Care to join us, Ingrid? I bet Mercie can make sweets for us!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, I . . . . . . uh, I have something else to do then . . . . . a meeting with Seteth! About, uh, fishing! Yes, I’m afraid I must skip out on the makeovers, unfortunately. Would’ve loved to participate otherwise, but I have a commitment to honor! And I must honor it right about now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Geez, she could’ve said she didn’t want to and I would’ve respected it,” Annette said with a pout as she watched Ingrid’s retreating form quickly march away to the opposite end of the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Marianne!” Demetria called out. Mercedes and Annette turned to see that, yes indeed, Marianne von Edmund was walking down the hallway, eyes trained to the floor like they always were. The two best friends watched the princess approach her easily and without a second thought, like Marianne wasn't one of the most difficult people to approach or even start a conversation with in the entire school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blue-haired girl tensed up slightly upon being acknowledged but lifted her eyes off of the floor to meet Demetria’s. A flush of pink painted Marianne’s cheeks, immediately signaling Mercedes and Annette to look at each other with knowing gazes and walk away together to leave the two other girls alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Demetria,” Marianne said, though perhaps mumbled would be a more apt description of the volume of her voice. She grabbed the ends of her long skirt with her small fists and did a slight curtsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t tell me it’s gotten to you, too,” Demetria groaned. “No need for formalities around me, Marianne. Treat me as you would any other classmate. You don’t address Claude by any title or curtsy around him, do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T-T-That’s different,” Marianne shook her head. “Claude doesn’t really care much about his reputation, so he wouldn’t mind if I threw my breakfast in his lap. You, on the other hand . . . .” She paused before continuing, her flush only growing deeper and hotter. “. . . . . I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if people thought ill of you for being near me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are these people that are demanding you keep your distance from others?” Demetria demanded as she crossed her arms. Something began to simmer in her eyes. “Is there anything I can do for you to get rid of them? If you just point me towards them, I can--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Marianne blurted out, frantically shaking her head. Her gaze latched itself back onto the floor. “Don’t concern yourself with my troubles. I would be very upset with you if you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demetria dropped her arms to her sides and her tense posture suddenly relaxed. She blinked, once, then twice, and took in a deep breath through her nose. The burning heat in her eyes cooled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I don’t know what got over me,” Demetria apologized, holding her fist to her chest and bowing for good measure. “I’ve always been told I get rather . . . . . intense when it’s not necessary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Marianne said softly, still wringing her hands. She lifted her gaze up to make eye contact with Demetria, which relieved the princess. She was relieved that she didn’t frighten Marianne. “Even though I know you shouldn’t be wasting so much of your concern on someone like me, part of me still can’t help but feel flattered.” Marianne’s eyes shone a little from behind her bangs. The corners of her lips tilted upwards. “You know what you remind me of, Demetria? A storybook character my parents used to read to me as a child. A noble, good-hearted prince who was compassionate to everyone he met, from the fairest maiden to the most loathsome monster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see no loathsome monsters around me, Marianne,” Demetria replied, a small but undeniably genuine smile quirking her lips. “Only the fairest maiden I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft gasp was caught behind Marianne’s lips, but she couldn’t stop her face from further reddening. Now she was sure her entire face was the color of a strawberry. Demetria didn’t laugh at her, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them were standing so close. The tips of Demetria’s boots touched the tips of Marianne’s shoes and it must really be a testament of how long Marianne has gone without a positive physical touch if </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was enough for her to feel intimate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demetria’s eyes were so kind. If Marianne were to simply lean forward, maybe reach up a little on the tips of her toes, perhaps she could  . . . . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Demetria!” a soft but proper voice squealed, and Demetria was snatched back the moment Marianne had the courage to rise up to the princess’s height. Her left arm was immediately ensnared by the grasp of a very enthusiastic, brightly smiling Flayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “F-F-Flayn?” both girls yelped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was looking everywhere for you, Demetria!” Flayn pouted, but it quickly molded back into a smile. “I have conceived a new recipe for you to try. I was really daring with what I put into it, so I knew you would be able to enjoy it. I made sure to combine all of the textures you told me you liked!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-O-Oh, I forgot about that obligation I made to you . . . . .”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had forgotten? Well then, now you must make it up to me! I already have everything set up in the dining hall!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I at least bring Marianne with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-Oh no, Demetria, I would only be a burden there,” Marianne was already backing away and retreating into her shell. Her shoulders slumped and her head ducked low as she spun on her heel to run away. Despite her efforts to hide her face, one could still see that she was furiously blushing a deep red. “I-I-I hope we can talk again soon,” she murmured under her breath, so soft that Demetria wondered if she was meant to hear that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demetria wasn’t allowed any time to ponder what Marianne had said and what that meant about their relationship when Flayn’s grasp on her arm began to tug more insistently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do believe this means I have you all to myself!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you do,” Demetria sighed. She bit back her disappointment at her conversation with Marianne being cut short and resigned herself to her fate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a difficult task to turn down Flayn, especially when faced with that brilliant smile. Demetria did not possess the energy to even attempt. Nor did she possess the heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But goddess, did Flayn’s grip </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re strangely clingy today,” Demetria said through gritted teeth as she was dragged down the hallway towards the dining hall, trying hard not to trip on herself. “Very affectionate too,” she added when Flayn slowed down to briefly bury her face into Demetria’s sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I? Oh, I just had a huge revelation recently,” she chirped. The small blush on her face grew more noticeable as she hugged the taller girl’s arm. Her smile became more soft and gentle. “And because you are not a boy, I can embrace you like this in public and Brother cannot possibly get angry at either of us! Oh, the things I can do with you and he will be none the wiser!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-What does your brother have to do with this?” Demetria stammered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Flayn blinked her eyes coquettishly, like she knew something she refused to tell Demetria. Her smile had a mischievous edge. She affectionately rubbed her face against Demetria’s sleeve one more time before saying, “Oh, do not worry about it. Unless, of course, you are already prepared to have dinner with the two of us to talk about the future you will have with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nothing!” </span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Looking back on it, the Dimivain tag on this fic might be a little unwarranted but I wanted to complete the harem. It was a little hard to shove in hints for every ship listed, but I tried.</p><p>Also, I will be shameless and admit Dimitri/Ingrid is more compelling when it's femslash. Sue me.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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